Beer-battered, old-fashioned or just plain old Or-Ida from the grocery store. No matter which you prefer, the onion ring can help you find love, it did for me. I call it the “onion ring test.” While looking for love and dating, my friends always called me crazy, demanding and thought my expectations were too high. Maybe they were, but expectations are not a bad thing. I had rules when it came to dating. And I also had a test. Besides, I knew what I wanted, a best friend, partner, and a lover. It was also important that he was not afraid to get dirty when life settled in, not afraid to express himself, or more importantly call me out when I’m acting up. I enjoyed dating. I believe in dating. In fact, you should date as many people as possible. Get your mind out of the gutter; it’s dating not sex. If you don’t try different flavors how do you know what you like, love, crave and more importantly, know what your willing to put up with. Think of yourself as an explorer opening your senses to the world that has many amazing flavors, sounds, and sights to offer. But let’s face it, the purpose of dating is to find a partner. The best possible match for you. And you are in control. And yes, I was in control with my “onion ring test.” And you’ll learn how to administer the test in a minute but, first, it’s essential before applying this method you get real about yourself.
You need to know how you love, what you’re willing to give in return and more importantly your deal breakers. This test will not work if you’re not truthful with yourself. By nature, I’m a people-pleaser. I will sacrifice my soul to make sure the people around me are happy. Unfortunately, this can come at the cost of my soul. By giving so much of myself, I often loose much of myself. For me, this test was about finding a man who was so into me, that all my giving would be returned and appreciated. His love would allow me to give away my soul; he would nurture it.
I’m not sure where I developed the self-esteem to know I deserved a good man and a loving relationship. I was never daddy’s little girl or his princess. In fact, I was rejected by not only my bio dad but a stepfather as well. This rejection taught me love should not be handed out freely (except with your kids), but it should be earned. The future man in my life had to be worthy for me to risk my whole being, and become vulnerable. And he couldn’t be just some guy he had to be….THE GUY. Regardless of my daddy issues, inside me somewhere…deep…deep inside I knew that when I a man loves you, it can be magical. He’d be respectful, loving, giving, honest and if I was ordering him like my onion rings, he comes with brains and a sense of humor.
Despite what The Bachelor will have you think, I stand by the idea that women pick the men, not the other way around. The partner you choose is lucky to have to you, and he should treat you that way. And you should treat him in return the same way. In fact, If I ever said, “yeah, but” he was out.
He’s cute but…
He’s smart but…
He’s wealthy but…
The “onion ring test” will not work if you have a “but.” A “but” means he’s not right for you. Falling in love is easy, staying in love takes work. So why start a relationship with a BUT. The BUT only gets bigger with time.
And let’s face it, finding guys is easy but finding the right guy takes skill. And trust me, when you find the right partner, he is special.
But how do we weed out bad ones? It’s the “onion ring test.” My theory was if a man was in love with you, he will do anything for you. He pays attention, engages in conversation and wants to spend time with you. And not in that “uh-huh” or “okay” way, but really listening and seeing. So here’s my test. And performing this test early on is imperative. Why waste your time with a non-starter?
On a date, I would order a hamburger without onions and a side of onion rings. Why is this a test? Because who orders no onions and then a side of onions. This was my simple way to see if he was noticing me. Did he think my order was weird? Did he notice? Is he going to ask me about me? Let’s face it; an uninterested person doesn’t ask questions. Just him starting that conversation means he’s interested, not afraid to challenge my unique taste in food and he’s curious about me. I knew I needed a man in complete awe of me. If he’s not fascinated in the beginning, what’s he going to be like in 20 years, 30 years, 50 years from now? Now the ball is in my court to work my magic.
So how many guys did this work on? One. ONLY ONE out of dozens and dozens of guys asked me about my order. His name is Joe, and we’ve been happily married for more than 23 years. Not only is he into me but he calls me out too!
So next time you grab a burger with a guy, hold the onions, order an extra large side of onions rings and let the magic of the onion ring find it’s way to his heart.
