As this Father’s Day came and went, I found a new way to celebrate dad. I’ll begin by saying, that I have very little sympathy for women who blame their bad or nonexistent relationship with their father for their troubles with men in their adult life. As I read or saw the numerous tributes about fathers or about the life-changing advice he passed down, I honestly didn’t have anything good to say about my dad. But I was wrong. Without going into all the dirty details, let’s just say I didn’t hit the jackpot when it comes to fathers. But what Dad did teach me is what I did not want in my life. This became increasing poignant as I watched the MTV reality series ‘Teen Mom’ and ‘16 and Pregnant’. Okay, we could get into a debate about the show and teens, but what I see is something different. I see girls with boys who treat them like dirt. Granted this goes both ways, but why would anyone get involved with a boy or man who has no respect for them, I don’t understand. Unlike most of these girls, I knew from a young age that I deserved a man who loved and respected me. How? I often ask myself the same question. I should have been a statistic. Don’t let addresses fool you. Neglect and abuse can happen in any neighborhood. During my dating years, my friends would tease me because I had a set of rules for my dates (today I would call them standards). I knew I was capable of giving myself to someone, but I needed to make sure it was mutual. Before I sound like a spoiled brat, let me mention that I never asked for more than I was willing to give. But my “rules” helped me weed out the keepers from the trash…real quick. If it hadn’t been for dear old dad, I would not have my “rules.” Thanks, Dad, I did not become a statistic. Your influence taught me more than you will ever know. It’s time for women to mature and take ownership of the life given to them. The only person you can control is you. Don’t look back, but look forward to a life you deserve and create it! I did.
This year as I celebrated Father’s Day with my hubby and boys there’s longer a void in my heart. With the lessons learned, I not only found a partner in life, but I found the best gift I could give my boys, an engaging, loving and caring father.
Next year, as you celebrate Dad, good or bad, take the opportunity to embrace his lessons.
